On Reflection

On Reflection

On reflection I have many regrets.

Yet if I’d done things differently,

I’d just have different regrets

to now reflect upon.

Ultimately things wouldn’t be

that much better or worse

than they are in all probability.

I can kid myself that in another life

I became a successful author, or a pop star.

I didn’t in the life that mattered.

I stumbled rather awkwardly along,

not quite good enough at anything.

On reflection I’d have done

many things in a different way.

For a start I wouldn’t have

wasted my teenage years.

I’d have been nicer to my first fiancée.

I’d have been easier to get on with.

I’d have enjoyed better health

and have avoided mid life illness.

I’d have been more ambitious.

I’d have said what I thought,

rather than kept it bottled up inside.

I’d have written something good,

that stood the test of time.

I’d have turned water into wine

and not been a borderline alcoholic.

I’d have made all your dreams

the same ones as mine,

and you might still be here now

in this room, and not where you are,

in someone else’s home,

many miles from here.

Andy Botterill

Andy Botterill was born in Newent, Gloucestershire, and attended Exmouth Community College.  He graduated with a history degree from Swansea University, before studying journalism at Cardiff Metropolitan University.  He worked as a journalist for a number of years, before moving into arts administration, and has worked variously at an arts centre, arthouse cinema and theatre.  His poetry and short stories have appeared widely in the small presses in this country and abroad, and he has published a number of minor collections of poetry.  As a musician he has released six solo studio albums, available on iTunes, and many more with bands, as well as running the independent record label, Pastime Records.  Five of his earlier novels and a play are available on Kindle.  Andy Botterill is married with two children.