Disjointed thoughts.

Wallowing in misery.

Memories bring peace.


But surrender to the emptiness.

Relentless panic.

Can’t think too much.

Focus on nothingness.

It allows a breath.

Really want to go.

Can’t stay much longer.

Without knowing.

Cruel pain,

Doesn’t change with the season.


And it’s never going to be alright.



Robert Pegel


Robert Pegel is a father and husband who lost his only son four years ago.  Calvin was 16 and died in his sleep of unknown causes.  Robert turned to writing poetry in an effort to make sense of the unimaginable. He hopes his writing might serve as inspiration or help others process their loss and suffering.  Robert graduated from Columbia University where he majored in English. 


  1. such a shock to the system that we must orient ourselves back to a life without a loved one. it can make us stronger and more self-reliant or rob us of our happiness. it's a choice.

  2. Your poem does a perfect job of explaining the true reaction to grief. I am very sorry for your loss.

  3. Thanks Linda. I appreciate your comments greatly.

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